have a dirty mind, you'll get it. Enjoy. ;p
Subject: Letter from Santa, Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2009.
Dear Friends,
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good
this year and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some
goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to
bring you all the gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a
little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with VD
from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have
knocked up the 8 maids a -milking, and the 9 piper's piping have been
arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese
a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the
partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird shit.
On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my
reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined the gay liberation and
some people who can't read a calendar have scheduled Christmas for the
5th of January. Maybe next year I will be able to get my shit together
and bring you the things you want. This year I suggest you get your
asses down to Wal-Mart before everything is gone!
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